a historical perspective by jan dankovich

Burnside Project is the culmination of years of indiscretion and over stimulation by its front man, Richard Jankovich. In its current form, Burnside Project is a loose coalition of has-beens and wanna-bes all striving together for individuality. In the classic 1977 animated short entitled "A Year in the Life of a Day" a young BP can be seen doing what it does best; subsisting on a daily ration of quips and grubs.

BP first began as a federally funded research project into defeating communism. The US government sought it fit to strike at communism with every means possible, including music. Eighteen months later, with nearly 5% of the GNP consumed, BP?s findings were a major disappointment to the recording industry and government officials alike. BP claimed that music was meant to "be heard and not listened to". Their laughable conclusion drew criticisms from top government officials and confused citizens. Charges of misappropriation of funds and mismanagement were followed by deflation, decapitation and deportation.

Additionally, government vinyl stockpiling programs were criticized as over zealous. However, critics were silenced when a dejected BP suggest that the vinyl be employed as a see-through, yet tasteful couch covering. An enthusiastic country jumped at the chance to suppress its collective emotion and envelope the ottoman. Years later, reflection would prove BP wrong again.

The 50's vinyl frenzy distracted a nation and in 1958 a severed BP re-enter the United States under an assumed name, Karl von McGiggles. The toroidal shaped McGiggles grew up in a previously unmentioned sleepy town befriending local riff-raff and retreads. By the time of maturity, BP, long plagued by bouts of ambidexterity, migrated to the bustling, depressed, industrial complex just outside of the Elysian Fields. It began to rebuild, drawing on its rich source of ineptitude and progressed from a multi-tiered inane monstrosity and quickly developed into a sophisticated, young woman.

A thirty-year hibernation, commonly known outside the group as the "good years", has outlived the vinyl lawsuits and further distanced BP from the music loving public.

2000 saw the Bornshode Monster Project release the eponymous self-titled debut, a debut of self-titled songs titled "Self Titled Debut of Songs" or, simply, "Debut Self Titled Album of Songs." As the Blemsnide Projectitude continued to learn the eating habits of fellow inhabitants, the album encountered critical observations such as:

"This CD is not going to rock your world" - Jersey Beat

"I think you should remix or re-record these tracks, so they sound...you know...good." - unknown

"This is worst crap I have ever heard, I would rather remove my bowels with a pitchfork then listen to this music anymore" – Tipper Gore, concerned mother

"Hello? Hello? Who is this?" - anonymous caller

After the absent praise that met the album's release and general disinterest by the handful, the Boindshode Projectile continued to record audible songs for a disinterested public and its loyal following of music loathing enthusiast.

The year 2001, following its predecessor 2000 closely, continuing as before, starting with January and culminating in June (as of May, 2000), with each month containing one or more consecutive days.

Today BP combines the smooth riffs of iron chicken-farm fusion with the melodic sounds of comtempo-thrash muffin-ass back by sonorous jelly-stand nipple bashing. BP also brings a unique energy to the stage that can be best described as life-like. From humble beginnings on the sands of Los Alamos, to the now present day today, BP has the power to resist change despite litigation and an ever-evolving musical landscape.

BP who recorded the track you do not hear on the CD was recorded in 2000 with help from Brian Musikoff, from the seminal, trippy, filthy dirty punk rock fuck-off band, Friends, Romans and Countrymen, and Ethan Barshay.

Musikoff, or "Ego" as insiders know him, frequently draws inspiration from the enthusiastic crowds BP plays. He has been quoted as saying "and when they chant my name, I play the pipe organ harder and faster." Any literate will tell you that Musikoff's self-congratulations is a delusion, the chant isn't for more it's for less. Not "Musikoff", but rather "Music Off!"

Ethan, a bastard and a licensed dietitian, records solo material, which none have heard. His musical gems may remain silent since he operates best during closed recording sessions without engineers, technicians or equipment. Not a shy man, but an ignorant one, his recording sessions reportedly consist of sitting naked in a bowl of peaches in front of a mop, swaying and "singing" into a ladle while pulling on a roll of scotch tape. At the end of the day, there is only a sticky Ethan clutching a bent ladle, and a ball of cellophane to show for his efforts. Poor bastard.

BP has most recently acquired Gerald Hammill as a twelfth round pick out of Ohio in exchange for pot-stickers and promise of dissolution. Gerald brings to BP the lacking talent already in abundance within the group. Although green, he has jumped right into the mix adding his signature sound of crushing bones to anyone who remains fairly sedentary. From humble beginnings on the sands of Los Alamos, to the now present day today, BP has the power to resist change despite litigation and an ever-evolving musical landscape.

Jankovich, the BP lead, completes the remainder of the musical arrangements. He is best know for using his power of influence and limited perception to coerce passersby into his rat-infested Manhattan brownstone. There he tells tales of lollipops and bulbous balloons. With promises of conclusion he continues his rant. Frequently over the noon hour he can be heard crying from atop the structure "Oh Sol! I dare you to spit your rays across the floor. Golden Orb, you are the death! You are the hot death!" When asked to elaborate, he retorted "Sol! Sol!" The radiating pulsating sun could not be reached for comment.